Common wisdom holds that it is not good for children to see their parents fighting. Witnessing marital conflict sets a bad example for young minds and reduces a child’s respect for his parents. Yet psychologists are divided about this subject. While all agree that witnessing abuse is damaging for any child, what about the occasional argument? Is it ever okay to have a disagreement in front of the kids? Continue reading ‘Is it OK for kids to see parents fighting?’
One of the earliest polite conventions we teach our children is to say thank you. These seem to be the two magic words for lifetime well-being. Gratitude has been shown to have numerous benefits in marriage. (Check out my past article on gratitude). Here’s even more encouraging news: a new study in “The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology” by Dr. Amie Gordon of U.C. Berkeley found that couples who express gratitude and appreciation for one another tend to be more committed, have more sex, and be less likely to break up. More and more, it seems that gratitude is a cornerstone of a healthy, happy marriage. Continue reading ‘Expressing gratitude boosts your sex life’
Choosing a therapist got you feeling overwhelmed? Find out what options are available and how to pick the best therapist for your marriage (or other counseling needs).
Couples therapy can help you and your spouse increase intimacy, stop fighting and relieve long-term frustrations and old hurts. Therapy is not just for couples on the brink of divorce. In fact, the earlier you start learning how to keep your marriage calm and loving (even before you tie the knot) the better prepared you will be for inevitable future challenges.
At the same time, choosing a therapist can feel daunting. Where do you start looking? What should you look for? How can you tell if your therapist is working for you? Start here with this simple guide. Continue reading ‘A quick guide to choosing a therapist’
Flowers are the quintessential romantic gift. Do you know how to pick the most romantic flowers for your anniversary? For a surprise gesture? For a birthday? In this guest post florist Lisa Bernshaw explains the traditional meaning behind flowers to help you pick the best bunch.
Giving flowers has been one of the most romantic and heartfelt gestures now for thousands of years. Just as you might give flowers to a loved one today so too did the Ancient Romans or Egyptians before you. Of course flowers have stood the test of time and proven so popular mostly because of their beauty – but there is more to it than that. Continue reading ‘How to Pick the Most Romantic Flowers for Anniversaries and More’
Kate Winslet is marrying again and has announced that she will not be taking on her new husband’s last name. With a name as famous as hers, this seems like a no-brainer. Yet the question is vastly complicated. Should you, would you, or did you, change your name upon marrying?
A recent survey of Facebook users showed that women are again taking on their husbands surname after a long decline in the practice. In partnership with The Daily Beast, Facebook looked at the names of 14 million married females, ranging in age from 20 to 79. Facebook found that 65 percent of the survey group in their 20s and 30s changed their names. Even more women in their their 40s, 50s, and 60s changed their names — 68 percent, 75 percent and 80 percent, respectively. Continue reading ‘Should you change your name when you get married?’
It may not be surprising to hear that trust is a key factor in successful partnerships. In fact, an entire branch of relationship psychology called “attachment theory” argues that trust is really the primary experience we seek in a relationship. A romantic relationship, like a mother-child relationship, is based on being able to place complete trust in another person. Trusting your spouse to follow through with their promises, to support you, to be faithful…on the whole, to not hurt or abandon you. We long for someone to trust. Continue reading ‘Trust in relationships: New research reveals its unique importance’
“How valid is marriage, in our times?” asks the narrator.
“The dream of a home of your own when you go looking forward can turn into a nightmare. An economic deadlock called housing – this is what often shelters young family life in our time. It’s not surprising that young people are given pause by the fears of our age. It’s an age of unrest and change, both individual and social. An age of confused personal values, of widespread domestic difficulties culminating in a fabulous number of broken homes. Where can the young men and women of today find the courage and hope of take on the responsibility of making what should be the most secure of all worlds, a home, in the atmosphere of competition and chaos that seems to be the world around us?”
Surprisingly, this sound bite is not from a recent NBC special on the state of the marital union. It comes from a 60-year-old educational film called “Marriage for Moderns.” Continue reading ‘Media Mondays: A modern marriage’
Anniversaries are wonderful times to celebrate all you have accomplished as a couple, after difficult years even more than easy ones. These anniversary quotes can help you express your love and appreciation for your spouse on this special day. Wondering what to do for your anniversary? We’ll be bringing you some excellent and creative celebration ideas next week! Continue reading ‘The 25 best romantic anniversary quotes’
The more siblings you grew up with, the longer your marriage will last, reports a new study from Ohio State University. For the study, the researchers crunched data on 57,061 adults collected between 1972 and 2012.
“We found that if you had a sibling, for each additional sibling your divorce rate decreased by two percent,” said Douglas Downey, co-author of the study, in an interview for CBSNews.com. Only-children were less likely to marry in general than their peers with siblings, as well as being more at risk for divorce. The benefits of having more siblings seem to level off at seven. Continue reading ‘Does having siblings help your marriage?’
The Relationship Pro is a “hot new device” that “helps couples drag out their doomed relationship that extra month or two,” reports The Onion. The game controller allows wives to feel like they are interacting with a great husband who listens, sympathizes and gives advice, while husbands can continue to play their own video games.
“It’s amazing. It’s like talking to a fully developed person,” says Pam, a wife who tested out the game.
She demonstrated by asking the controller a common question about the state of their relationship. “What is this? What are we doing?” she pleaded.
“You’re right, I know I have a lot to change,” responded the device. “I know our best days are ahead of us.”
Both spouses credited the Relationship Pro with saving their relationship, at least for another month or so.
“It’s great. Now I can focus on my game instead of worrying about all that stuff she said there,” added Eric, Pam’s husband.
Okay, so the Relationship Pro doesn’t exist, and The Onion is a satirical news website. This clip is quite hilarious and, like all good satire, makes you think.
Marriage tip: In marriage as in life, problems don’t go away by ignoring them. At the same time, finding the right time to talk about relationship issues is important to a successful conversation. Interrupting your spouse in the middle of a game, a favorite TV show, or other engaging activity is a recipe for trouble. Not only will your partner be less likely to focus on what you have to say, he or she will also likely respond with irritation or defensiveness. The best time to talk about sensitive subjects is when you are both fed, rested, and not distracted. Try agreeing on a specific time that you can both set aside to “workshop” any issues that have come up in the past week.