Comments on: Forgiving infidelity and moving on—for your health

By: naomi

naomi — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 17:56:39 +0000

Hi, thanks for the great feedback! Of course, feel free to link and quote from my post, just please use quotation marks and acknowledge authorship. I look forward to reading your writings. Feel free to post your link back here on the comments once it’s published.

By: The Pro Marriage Counselor

The Pro Marriage Counselor — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 16:12:42 +0000

As a Marriage Counselor, I am so glad that I’ve found this post. This is some powerful and practical advice for couples who are learning how to recover from an affair together, in a way that strengthens and protects their relationship.

If you don’t mind, in addition to tweeting this out to my twitter followers, I’d also like to quote and link to this article in one of my own up coming blog posts on the same subject. Is that ok?

Thanks again for such a great read!
Sincerely,
- The Pro Marriage Counselor.

By: jacobheitler

jacobheitler — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 21:48:54 +0000

That’s true. Rebuilding trust takes time. It’s like building up savings in the bank. If you put more positive experiences into your account, slowly but surely, it builds up a reserve that overshadows the trust debt.

By: moving on

moving on — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 15:57:18 +0000

Forgiving is easier said than done but what if the husband decides to stay with his wife. He forgives his wife and agrees to “start again”. Trusting someone you love will take time.

By: naomi

naomi — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 16:22:10 +0000

Good point. I would say that forgiveness doesn’t mean having to excuse what your spouse has done. What I’m trying to get at more in this article (and what the study was about) is letting go of the personal bitterness–anger, regret, nostalgia, jealousy–that we tend to hold onto when someone has done us wrong (such as in your example). It isn’t so much about whether you should “forgive” the person and stay with them. You can “forgive” them and still divorce, too. What is important is to release yourself from the prison of your negative feelings (which have terrible impact on your health) and being able to move on with your life, whatever direction it may head.

By: cheated

cheated — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 15:59:20 +0000

How do you forgive & trust a wife who have cheated her husband for 20years? A great mother to her 3 children, a great friend but was a pretend wife to her true husband. Her husband knew something was going on between her and a family friend but she always denied that “nothing is going on”.

With some careful surveillance the relationship between her and a family friend ended when their regular sexual encounter was captured on video. She still denied that “nothing is going on” until the video was played in front of her. She admitted it was a mistake and explained the reason for the relationship. She wants to move on as a family and forget the past.

20 years is a long time for a husband to have a pretend wife. That’s a lifetime. As if the husband never had a wife during those times when the kids were growing up.

By: cynthia

cynthia — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 00:44:51 +0000

I found out my husband was having an affair with my so called best friend. I decided to leave him because I knew I could never trust him again. I found love again and even though I went trough heartache it only made me stronger in the end.
http://www.peoplesinsight.com/articles/2-relationships/135-once-a-cheat-always-a-cheat