Author Jenna McCarthy takes a humorous look at the unrealistic expectations of marriage in this funny and smart TED talk. It’s important to step back once and a while and look at the funny side of the problems in marriage. What are we really promising in those well worn oaths?
The big day comes, and they’ll stand before God and family, and some guy her dad once did business with, and they’ll vow that nothing, not abject poverty, not life-threatening illness, not complete and utter misery, will ever put the tiniest damper on their eternal love and devotion.
Hearing it like that, you realize that this is some pretty far-fetched promise, especially in thelight of America’s nearly %50 divorce rate. The truth is, every single married couple faces problems in marriage. Life goes by with its successes and challenges and this puts stresses on us and affects all our relationships. In addition, through the years you spend together–the rest of your lives–you will change and grow as a person. You will find new interests and hobbies, your way of looking at life may change.
How can your relationship last through this and the problems in marriage it brings? Perhaps by making a new kind of promise. To be partners in life, helping each other to navigate its twists and turns, respecting and trusting each other while you grow. Recognize that love will be of changing qualities–at times fierce and warming, and at others a cool undercurrent. I believe that with open dialogue about the real difficulties, and less stressing expectations, is part of the path to longer, stronger marriages.
Have fun with this video. Jenna is a great speaker, and she ends with a positive note in spite of all her funny marriage problems griping!