Who is the ultimate example of how to stay in love and cultivate a healthy marriage for a lifetime? Those who have actually done it! Karam and Katari Chand just celebrated their 87th wedding anniversary, making them Britain’s oldest married couple. The two have been through a lot together and still claim they are deeply in love. They shared their insights on how to stay in love with an interviewer from British dating website Zoosk. Here are a few gems of wisdom from the couple:
1. Be faithful: Remember when times get tough, love cools, and looks fade: as attractive as an affair may seem, it will almost certainly not make you happier. “Don’t believe that the grass is greener…because it isn’t,” quotes the interview.
2. Look after each other: Make sure you live into old age by helping each other stay healthy and active and feel supported and loved.
3. Be tolerant: There are annoying bad habits, and then there are destructive habits. Work together to eliminate the latter and learn how to accept the former. “Of course we irritate each other occasionally, but if you want to last nearly 90 years, learn to love bad habits or it won’t work,” say Karam and Katari.
4. Listen: Take time to turn off the TV, put down the cellphone, and listen to each other. You’ll help solve each others problems and build intimacy and trust by confiding in each other.
5. Stay true to you values: Incorporate your religious and social values into your marriage and work together to shape the life you feel is right. “Respect, care, cherish, love and value your partner – always treat them how you would want to be treated yourself.”
Another interesting aspect of their partnership is that Karam and Katari found each other through an arranged marriage. They met for the first time on their wedding day. This is even more evidence for the research findings that arranged marriages are no less happy than marriage by decision. No matter how you meet, every couple needs the strong skills that Karam and Katari have cultivated. They learned them, and you can too!