Divorce rates for couples over 50 are rising. The culprit? Marriage and retirement. Retirement represents one of the biggest life changes since graduating college or having children. This complete rearrangement of your daily routine, social status, and perceived purpose in life has the potential to put untold stress on your marriage. Here are some tips for navigating the waters of marriage and retirement in a way that preserves your strength as a couple and steers you clear from the turbulence of divorce.
1. Marriage and Retirement Planning
One of the biggest problems starts with pre-retirement planning. As we prepare for retirement, we often make lots of mental plans about what and how to do it. When these develop in our minds and don’t share them with our spouses, we are setting our marriage and retirement up for miscommunication, disappointment and conflict. Continue reading ‘4 things you need to know to navigate marriage and retirement’
Social media is wonderful for keeping in touch with friends and family. At the same time, there is one category of person that you should not be reconnecting with-ex flames. Facebook has made it incredibly easy to indulge in nostalgia and look up people from the past. The Australian magazine The Age recently delved into the near-epidemic of social media-inspired affairs with the article “First love, the second time around.”
Nostalgia drives social media searches
Most people do not reach out to past romantic partners consciously looking for an affair–yet this is what often happens. Old flames hold strong sway over our hearts, triggering powerful and deep-set emotions related to desire, regret and attachment. Relationships that occurred during teenage years seem to be especially powerful. Continue reading ‘The increasing danger of reconnecting with ex lovers online’
Thanks to Stu and Lisa Gray of the Stupendous Marriage Show for turning me on to this topic! Check out their podcast for some smart commentary.
Negative stereotypes about marriage are so pervasive in our society that it is almost impossible to escape them. Name almost any TV show with married couples and you’ll find at least one example of the “ball and chain” metaphor. Marriage is the end of fun. It is the end of sex. It means constant bickering and being tied to someone who you can’t stand for the rest of your life.
Media and popular culture certainly perpetuate these damaging stereotypes, and, at the same time, we are all just as guilty ourselves. Every time we complain about or badmouth our spouses to others, we perpetuate marriage stereotypes and hurt our own marriages. Continue reading ‘Want a good marriage? Don’t call your spouse a “Ball and Chain”’
America has the highest divorce rate in the world. We also have one of the most stressed out and over-worked workforces in the world. More and more, I believe this is not a coincidence.
Here are some sobering statistics about our dysfunctional relationship with work:
In the history of how to not propose to your girlfriend, this wedding proposal fail wins a gold star for complete ridiculousness:
All was well along the 10 Freeway in West Covina around lunchtime on January 7th. That was, until approximately 200 to 250 motorcyclists stopped simultaneously, blocking all lanes and surrounding a bike with a man and his girlfriend. After his girlfriend–clearly confused–got off the motorcycle, it released a giant puff of pink smoke, and the driver got down on one knee to propose. She said yes, some bikes did wheelies, and they hugged. Continue reading ‘Wedding proposal fail ends in 4 arrests’
It’s not unusual for spouses to have met online these days and the internet has made keeping long-distance love alive infinitely easier. I’ve heard numerous stories of long dating periods done solely online. But what about that next step: getting married digitally, via Skype?
It’s not exactly a movement, but online marriage is happening.
Is it legal to get married online?
Proxy marriage, in which one spouse is absent, is actually a very old practice. Marie Antoinette and King Louis XVI were technically married remotely in Marie’s home country of Austria. She later made the trek to France and they had another public ceremony. These days a proxy marriage is rare and mostly occurs among deployed soldiers who are concerned about leaving their significant other without benefits in case of death. In most other cases, U.S. law requires both parties to be physically present in order to legally wed. Continue reading ‘Online dating, online marriage?’
When you fool around with your honey-bunny, you do more than have a good time: you’re making an investment in your health! Here are ten wonderful health benefits of sex that should inspire you to write yourself a prescription for sweet, sweet lovin’.
1. Lower stress levels and blood pressure
Several studies have suggested that sex can lower your stress levels and your blood pressure.
Participants in a Scottish study logged their sexual activity and were then put in stressful situations such as speaking in public and doing math out loud. When their blood pressure was measured, those who had had intercourse showed better stress response than those who engaged in other sexual behaviors or were abstinent. Continue reading ’10 Aweseome health benefits of sex’
Imagine a typical scene of parents talking to their adult child about getting married. Do you have the vision of the older generation pressuring a young couple to tie the knot? Researchers from Brigham Young University have found that the truth is actually the reverse.
“The assumption has been that the younger generation wants to delay marriage and parents are hassling them about when they would get married,” said Brian Willoughby, the lead author of the study. “We actually found the opposite, that the parental generation is showing the ‘slow down’ mindset more than the young adults.”
The university students polled for the study reported 25-years-old to be around the right age to get married, while their parents tended to advise waiting a few years until their late twenties. In reality, the average age for marriage has been slowly increasing since the 1960s and now is around 27-years-old. The study did not include students from BYU since most are Mormon and tend to have earlier marriage rates than the general population.
Parent’s advice may come from wise instincts. Continue reading ‘The right age for getting married: is there one?’
2012 is over, and what a year it was for marriage news! From findings that could shake the foundation of Christianity, to a royal pregnancy, to new research on happiness, there were many memorable marriage news moments in the past year. Here are my top five.
1. Jesus may have had a wife
Long the subject of conspiracy theorists (and Dan Brown novels), Jesus’ marital status has come to the forefront of religious debate after a Harvard theology professor presented a 300 A.D. Coptic text that references his wife. The Vatican vehemently condemns the paper, and further testing is necessary before Harvard will officially publish any conclusions. All in all, a fascinating debate! We’ll keep you updated on this marriage news as it develops. Read the full article here: Was Jesus Married?
2. Arranged marriages no less happy than marriage by choice.
A UCLA survey study of 58 couples of Indian descent in Los Angeles found that there was no difference in marital happiness between those who had chosen their mates and those whose marriages been arranged. Both sets of couples were equally and extremely happy and content in their marriages, and in love and loyal to their spouses. So if love at first sight isn’t a good predictor of how happy a marriage will be, what is? Strong skills. Read more to find out: Making Decisions. Continue reading ‘The top 5 marriage news stories of 2012′
Although divorce levels have been high and rising for decades, it certainly seems like a milestone that beloved children’s program Sesame Street has finally tackled the issue of divorce and children. In a series of videos available online, character Abby Cadabby discusses her “big feelings” about her parents’ separation and receives support from Gordon and other cast members. Two other segments interview real kids–an 11 and 10-year-old–who are children of divorce.
“We’ve always had a social component where we try to address issues in kids’ lives,” Susan Scheiner of Sesame Workshop told TODAY.com. Divorce is one of the most common major life transitions children experience, with 40% of children living in a divorced household. It is impossible to address the major experiences of growing up without covering it, whether to help children through their parents divorce, or help them develop empathy for their peers. Continue reading ‘Sesame Street debuts special program to help children of divorce’