Funny wedding quotes

Funny wedding quotes are great for spicing up wedding toasts, speeches, vows or cards. In addition to making us laugh, they can point out the importance of marriage skills such as communication and balancing individual desires with your spouse’s needs. Watch out for “funny” wedding quotes that are mean spirited. Many quotes use humor to spread nasty beliefs about marriage, and when we repeat them we can reinforce the faulty logic behind them. If we keep referring to marriage as a ball-and-chain, our expectations will help make it so.

If you are choosing some funny wedding quotes to say during a toast or marriage vows, stay away from these kinds of jokes. Not because the bride and groom will take them seriously and be offended, or because they aren’t funny, but because the best wedding gift you can give the couple is a message of a positive and loving future.

Here are 15 positive funny wedding quotes:

  1. “Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with.” ~Jason Barmer
  2. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” ~Albert Einstein
  3. “In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce.  The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.” ~Robert Anderson
  4. “In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy.  The truth is precisely the opposite:  it begins all.” ~Anne Sophie Swetchine
  5. Weddings remind us that our lives have meaning and that love is the strongest bond, the happiest joy, and the loveliest healing we can ever experience. ~Daphne Rose Kingma
  6. “A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity.  The order varies for any given year.” ~Paul Sweeney
  7. “Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage.” ~ Finnish Proverb
  8. “Our wedding was many years ago.  The celebration continues to this day.” ~ Gene Perret
  9. “We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness – and call it love – true love.” ~Robert Fulghum
  10. Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery. ~Erma Bombeck
  11. I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That’s getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. ~Steve Martin as George Banks in Father of the Bride
  12. I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
    A church filled with family and friends.
    I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
    He said one that would make me his wife.
    ~Author Unknown
  13. Love – a wildly misunderstood although highly desirable malfunction of the heart which weakens the brain, causes eyes to sparkle, cheeks to glow, blood pressure to rise and the lips to pucker.  ~Author Unknown
  14. “All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.” ~Raymond Hull
  15. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.” ~Socrates


funny wedding quotes
Funny wedding quotes help spice up a toast–but choose wisely!