You know how the saying goes… If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. In a marriage you may not always have nice things to say and while it is important to voice concerns and bring up uncomfortable issues how to talk about difficult topics is the subject of another post. The rest of the time, how positive you are and how much warmth you share between you has a big impact on the quality of your relationship. While it may be an oversimplification to say that you can avoid couples counseling by being nice, you can have a major impact on the day to day climate of your marriage by keeping the ratio or positive to negative interactions to 10:1. When you espouse an attitude of positivity and gratitude you lift those around you into that mindset as well. Positive people are more attractive, tend to be healthier and happier.
So during this holiday season if you find yourself low on positivity towards your spouse (or anyone for that matter) and you want to keep couples counseling off your new years resolution list here are some suggestions of things to say…
- I love you.
- I think about you when we are apart.
- I appreciate all your hard work.
- I believe in you.
- I trust you.
- I am glad you are here.
- I would like to help you.
- I appreciate your help.
- I like spending time with you.
- Thank you for the work you do for our family.
- I enjoy your company.
- I have fun with you.
- How can I help you?
- I appreciate your positive attitude.
- Thank you for your help.
- Your are fun.
- You are an important part of my life.
- You make me laugh.
- You are a good parent.
- I trust your judgement.
- I am glad to have you in my life.
- You make a positive impact on my life.
- You are a good friend.
- I want to support you.
- I appreciate the effort you make in our relationship.
Spread some holiday cheer and positivity to the people you love and see what comes back to you in return.