She’s at it again. Yes, saving marriages — while that happens everyday around here, it’s always fun when the story is told in a broader way.
Dr. Heitler and a gracious couple have shared the story of how this couple, with some first rate help and skills, rescued their marriage. The couple came to Dr. Heitler because their sexless marriage needed help. The wife’s chronic pain condition further complicated the matter. When she discovered him using a porn website she realized it was time for a serious lesson in how to communicate with your spouse if they wanted to save the marriage.
Stop kidding yourself. The 80 hour work week is a myth. No one really can do productive, creative, useful work for 80 hours a week. Likewise, no one can drive a truck safely or fill orders accurately for 80 hours a week.
Here’s the other truth. Marriages and families need time too. If you’re at work 80 hours a week, there’s no way your marriage is getting the time it needs. At Power of Two we work 35 good, hard, productive hours a week. Focused hours. Creative hours. And then we all go home and enjoy our lives.
Having done this for four years now, I can tell you, this approach has made our team wildly productive. It lets us pause and catch mistakes before heading down dead-end paths. It means everyone is rested and excited when we’re at work. It keeps our team energized.
So, as is generally the case, my Monday morning, post Turkey Weekend, step onto the scale was rather shocking. How could all my hard weeks of watching what I ate vanish oh so quickly?
And, then, in the kind-of mental jujitsu that only someone who lives and breathes marriage improvement might indulge in, I couldn’t help but smile at the parallels between my waist and so many of our members marriages work on their relationships.
Here’s a few:
1. While losing weight takes months, even a quick weekend of feasting can put it all back on. Likewise, while building a strong marriage takes months, maybe even years, one massive argument or stupid indiscretion can sure set things back quickly.
2. The best way to keep my waste-line to a place it fits in my pants is by carefully watching everything that goes into my mouth. Marriages stay trim when spouses watch everything that comes out of their mouths.
3. Over the long haul, the scale stays at reasonable when I build a life-style that includes healthy eating and exercise. The best marriages, likewise, need a life-style that gives them time and feeds them with positive interactions.
I sure like the feeling of being slim and trim. And, at the same time, there is nothing more wonderful in this world than the feeling of being part of a marriage that, no matter what the scale says, is joyful, passionate, intimate, argument-free and just plain awesome. So all-in-all, I feel very thankful to be working on my relationship with my scale and indulging in my love for my husband!
I thank you and am thankful every day my dearest Adam.
After reading this fantastic article I decided it is a must share…
Is Marriage Good for Your Health?
Published: April 12, 2010 By: Tara Parker-Pope
In 1858 a British epidemiologist by the name of William Farr set out to study the relative mortality rates among the married and unmarried. Farr was among the first to suggest that there is a health advantage to marriage. And while times have changed, and created more categories to consider, such as couples living together, gay couples, and couples who have gotten divorced… Farr’s research has stood the test of time.
Scientists continue to document the “marriage advantage”: the fact that married people, on average, appear to be healthier and live longer.
Such research has stimulated both politics and policy, fueling national marriage-promoting effort. In fact, Power of Two’s own birth was the result of the Healthy Marriage Initiative of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
And that’s where we come in. Several new studies have shown that the “marital advantage” doesn’t extend to those in troubled relationships. And thus… we do what we do. At the Power of Two, we are taking on the world one couple at a time. It is our mission to equip couples with the skills to make their marriages not only endue, but flourish!