Low sex drive? 4 myths and some new thinking about this very common problem.

low sex drive
Desire discrepancies (low sex drive) is the most common complaint women have about their sex lives.

Do you and your partner experience desire discrepancies?  That is do you often find one partner in the mood for sex and the other not? Do you have a low sex drive?  Desire discrepancies are one of the most common complaints related to intimacy in relationships. A sexless marriage is something many couples face. Is it possible that shifting the way we think about sex and desire would help more couples overcome this often painful problem. In her new book, Come As You Are, Emily Nagoski, PhD writes beautifully and compassionately about this idea and so much more. Here are 4 myths she busts in the wonderfully researched book about sex and desire.

Continue reading Low sex drive? 4 myths and some new thinking about this very common problem.

The Power of Two: Why making a relationship last matters.

Over the past weekend I attended a memorial service for my grandfather.  He passed recently in his own home surrounded by loved ones.  He was 84 years old.  The memorial service was a lovely tribute to the man, mostly shared through stories told by his four sons.  He was a hard working man, a funny and kind person who made friends wherever he went.  He was also a devoted husband, married to my my grandmother (who passed in 2007) for 60 years.  After the service ended, hugs and loving embraces were exchanged and we all went home to continue on with our lives.  As I thought about the day and service and my grandfather I was struck by something that stood out to me as we all celebrated the life of a man we loved.  It was these four words: The Power of Two. These words are something I read, write and say often given the work I do.  I do not ponder them deeply as often as I should.

Tom and Irene
My grandparents on the farm in South Dakota

 

Why does making a relationship last matter? As I thought about my grandparents and the legacy they left behind I believe that their marriage and its impact on the lives of the people who sat in that auditorium was their greatest legacy.  60 years of a life shared together, raising four sons was surely no easy life.  My grandfather grew up on a farm in South Dakota, he worked for The Coca Cola company for 25 years. He then went on to own a successful print shop and retired to enjoy his eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. Continue reading The Power of Two: Why making a relationship last matters.

4 things you need to know to navigate marriage and retirement

Divorce rates for couples over 50 are rising. The culprit? Marriage and retirement. Retirement represents one of the biggest life changes since graduating college or having children. This complete rearrangement of your daily routine, social status, and perceived purpose in life has the potential to put untold stress on your marriage. Here are some tips for navigating the waters of marriage and retirement in a way that preserves your strength as a couple and steers you clear from the turbulence of divorce.

1. Marriage and Retirement Planning

One of the biggest problems starts with pre-retirement planning. As we prepare for retirement, we often make lots of mental plans about what and how to do it. When these develop in our minds and don’t share them with our spouses, we are setting our marriage and retirement up for miscommunication, disappointment and conflict. Continue reading 4 things you need to know to navigate marriage and retirement