Post Thanksgiving Waist Line Blues and Marriage Skills????

So, as is generally the case, my Monday morning, post Turkey Weekend, step onto the scale was rather shocking.  How could all my hard weeks of watching what I ate vanish oh so quickly?

And, then, in the kind-of mental jujitsu that only someone who lives and breathes marriage improvement might indulge in, I couldn’t help but smile at the parallels between my waist and so many of our members marriages work on their relationships.

Here’s a few:

1.    While losing weight takes months, even a quick weekend of feasting can put it all back on.  Likewise, while building a strong marriage takes months, maybe even years, one massive argument or stupid indiscretion can sure set things back quickly.

2.    The best way to keep my waste-line to a place it fits in my pants is by carefully watching everything that goes into my mouth.  Marriages stay trim when spouses watch everything that comes out of their mouths.

3.    Over the long haul, the scale stays at reasonable when I build a life-style that includes healthy eating and exercise.  The best marriages, likewise, need a life-style that gives them time and feeds them with positive interactions.

I sure like the feeling of being slim and trim.  And, at the same time, there is nothing more wonderful in this world than the feeling of being part of a marriage that, no matter what the scale says, is joyful, passionate, intimate, argument-free and just plain awesome.  So all-in-all, I feel very thankful to be working on my relationship with my scale and indulging in my love for my husband!

I thank you and am thankful every day my dearest Adam.

And i-phone makes 3.

I was inspired driving to work today by NPR’s series on digital gizmo’s and marriage — http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=130698574.  Most striking to me was the account towards the end of the story about a couple lying in bed, playing scrabble.  Except there was one little twist.  Both people were playing scrabble separately on their phones!!

We hear about the great digital disconnect here at Power of Two all the time.  It’s truly amazing how easy it is to become a slave to all of our cool little phone’s and tablets and music players.  So many of us let these devices slip in to all sorts of private spaces under the guise of “convenience”.  Yes, even I have been known to send an occasional text messages from the bathroom.  Ugg.

Sound familiar?  Here’s a few suggestions to help protect your marriage and make sure the convenience of your devices doesn’t become the downfall of your marriage.

  1. Carve out some sacred spaces. That is make a few places in your life where the devices don’t come along.  I’d suggest the bedroom for starters.  The dining room table is another great one.
  2. Make some reserved times too. For example, perhaps 8 -10:00 every night is “unwired” hour.  If you’re a chronic office e-mail checker, start letting people know that you just won’t be available during those hours.
  3. Develop some 1950’s passions. Recently a friend complimented us that our 3 boys are so “1950’s.”  What did she mean?    Because we’ve basically banned screen-activities in the afternoons, our boys do things like ride their scooters, play board games, and dig holes in the backyard.  Do the same for your marriage.  Cultivate some simple 1950’s habits for your marriage.  Savor a shared cup of tea.  Enjoy a leisurely walk around the block.  Listen to music together.
  4. Check our if your devices are intruding by scheduling an occasional phone-free holiday. That’s right.  Turn them off, really off, for a whole 24 hours.  If it’s a pleasure and easy to do, YAY, you’re winning the great device battle.  If it feels like the world is ending, then something is topsy-turvy.  Time to take a serious hard look at how you’re connected to the antennas and what that’s doing to your ability to connect to your loved ones and to make some changes.

It’s amazing how much of a difference these few little pieces can make.  Happy unplugging to all!