Around the world — Happy New Year for your Marriage

How did you celebrate your New Year? Probably not googling around for online marriage help!

The ball may have dropped on Times Square and next time you write a check, remember it’s 2017 now, yet it is certainly not too late to usher in the best possible for 2017. Reading about New Year’s traditions the world around started me thinking about how much they teach about how to move forwards from challenges, especially if those challenges come in the form of relationship issues or marriage problems.

Here are a few particularly striking cross-cultural New Years traditions, and for each a few thoughts on what they can teach about making a new era for a relationship – whether it’s New Year’s Day or any of the other 364 days of the year.

From Scotland:

The tradition:  One Scottish tradition is “first-footing.”  In the early moments of the New Year Scott’s visit their neighbors with gifts of coal for the fire or yummy shortbread.

The advice:   When you want to put a relationship on new footing, a simple warm, nourishing gift or gesture can really help.  That said, a loving note or a bouquet of flowers might be more appropriate than coal.

From Greece:

The tradition: A silver or gold coin is baked into St. Basil’s cake.  Whoever finds the gold coin will be especially lucky in the upcoming year.

The advice: When eating your figurative cake (that would be gong through life in your relationship), look for the gold coin that might be hidden within.  Keeping your focus on the positive moments or hidden treasures helps everyone to feel more appreciated!

From Japan:

The tradition:  At midnight Buddhist temples strike their gongs 108 time to try to expel 108 kinds of human weaknesses.

The advice:  Everyone has weaknesses.  At the same time, learning about common relationship mistakes and then calling out loudly to yourself each time you slip into an “oops” will help you bring in skills and strengths in place of those weaknesses.

Happy New Year!

 

 

 

4 resolutions for your marriage in 2016

With the start of a new year, naturally there is an opportunity to think about what changes you want to make and where you want to focus your energy in the coming days and weeks. Whether you are a seasoned couple, having spent many years together or a new couple still awash in the glow of infatuation setting intention for the year ahead will be a boon to your relationship. The work you do now will set the tone for the days ahead.

Here are 4 resolutions for your marriage to tackle in 2016.

resolutions for your marriage
Photo credit: Joao Paulo de Vasconcelos

Put your marriage on the front burner.

Too often intimate relationships, especially your marriage end up on the back burner, if it’s on the stove at all! Jobs, kids, hobbies, spiritual lives, personal free time, tend to come before “working on your marriage.” They shouldn’t! The health of your marriage is a driving factor in how successful you are at all the other ventures you tackle. How satisfying your personal relationships are tends to impact the rest of your life including your physical and mental health. While certainly not the only factor, when your emotional house is in order you free up space and energy to go after your goals and dreams with the support of your partner. Make sure your relationship gets its fair share of your time and energy by making a plan. Beyond the old “regular date night” save all, create a real concrete idea of ways you are going to make your marriage a priority. Try to avoid fuzzy goals like, “spend more time together” or “have more sex.” Instead try, spend 1 hour every evening together or kiss each other every day. Continue reading 4 resolutions for your marriage in 2016

Happy New Year to You.

Words to ponder as the year turns from end to new beginning.

happy new years

The whole point to New Years is not just to have a new year. But that we should be new, better and different people. That is why we exercise to RE-NEW our bodies. That is why we write GOALS to get a Renewed sense of our potential. That is why we make RE-SOLUTIONS because we resolve that there are solutions inside of us that we have not tapped into. So don’t waste each New Years season. Maximize it! Start fresh using a new perspective for it will enable you to tap into a new season with greater capacity.
~ Sheilla Payton

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year’s Day.
~ Edith Lovejoy Pierce

Happy New Year to you

A new year is beginning to peak through
softly beautiful and different like new falling snow,
each day unique and shaped just for you.
Your life adding something as each day does grow.
My wish for your new year is beauty
and softness with surprises thrown in for delight.
Love for each day bringing happiness to you,
making your life a scene of sparkle and shining sunlight.
~ Author Unknown

Tick Tock

I’m writing this in a state of shock,
Watching the clock—tick tock, tick tock,
Advancing, approaching, relentlessly,
A brand new year; Oh, can it be?

The calendar says the same thing, too;
Time races, vanishes for me; Boo hoo!
No, wait! If time flies, I’m having fun!
A year of fun! It’s gone! It’s done!

I now embrace the blur of time,
Because it simply means that I’m
Too busy with pleasure, joy, delight
To mourn the passing days’ swift flight.

So I’m wishing you fast, happy days,
Pleasuring you in myriad ways,
Filled with happiness and cheer,
Oh Happy, Happy Bright New Year!
~ Joanna Fuchs

The Road Less Traveled

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
~ Robert Frost